Jesus and the Criminal Trespass Warning

Oh what a week it was. The headline for my week should read: I kicked Jesus Christ out of the church.

And now for the context...

On Sunday North Avenue Presbyterian, where I work, was visited by a homeless individual who had attended before. He was a big guy, and had a memorable look. He came into our first worship service and sat down. He just silently observed. The service ended and he approached a staff member at the back of the sanctuary. He stated that he would like to speak to a Pastor. The assistance pastor at NAPC is....me. That doesn't go over well with most of our assistance seekers because I don't have a guilt problem. If we can help, we do, if we can't I tell them that. On this occasion this gentlemen recognized me. He didn't want to speak to me, so I spoke to him. I informed him that he could go to a Sunday School class but if he wanted lunch he needed to go to our homeless worship service and get a lunch ticket. He told me that he had been invited to lunch by a pastor. False. I told him that he was making that up. He didn't like that. Then he said he was going to Sunday School. I said he could do that, but not to ask anyone for lunch money to eat in our normal lunch area. I alerted the team including the police officers. I had sounded the Philthy Cobb High Alert Status. That's defcon status people.
You know what that trucker did? He tried to go through the line and the usher turned him away and told him to go down to the homeless service. The guy then went around the corner and waited for the usher to walk away. He then went up a member and got them to pay for his lunch. Oh no he didn't. I got the call from the cashier, Philthy, we have a problem. I called the five-0 and headed to the crime scene. We pulled the gentleman out of dining area after he finished the meal and I asked him what he was doing? "These people invited me to lunch." False. I recounted the morning of deceit back to him. He listened intently and then asked me if I was finished. By all means my friend let me know how you're going to change my mind. He then stated "Do you know my name? My name is Jesus Christ and I died for all of these people. I sacrificed for everyone here. This is my church, I deserve to eat the food of the church. You're people owe me." Ohhhhhh, my bad, I had no idea. I stated back to him "I don't think you're the same Jesus we believe in." He shouted back at me "Yes I am!" I responded, "We're going to have to agree to disagree on that."
I then gave him a criminal trespass warning and the officers escorted him from the building. He stated to them that he would be coming back next week. One of the officers responded "If you step one foot on this property, I will handcuff you and arrest you." They've got my back.
So in summary, I won over several ushers who witnessed the whole deal, our business administrator, and both police officers complimented by handling of the situation. And this is my chip award winner for this week.

And just for the record, if any of you are wondering if I made a huge mistake and didn't recognize the second coming...I asked him "what is my wife's name?" He didn't know. I think the real Jesus would have known.